What am I doing?

I wrote this sometime last week..Wednesday I think.

I have carried on with the analysis but it is very piecemeal and interrupted by work and so on.

Very frustrating….so this is what I was thinking some days ago!

So today I have set myself the task of trying to work out what I am really doing now, why and where it will lead….?

I’ve decided to try and work through it on here .

This in itself is quite a challenge as if I were writing in a notebook it would not be visible to anyone else. Working through things publicly is strange.

There has been so much on R4 lately with The Digital Human on Secrets and divulging things on line…

I am still in that state where things are so tentative I don’t really want people to be aware of what I am doing as I don’t really know myself…. I don’t want Comments at this stage or opinions…I just want to be with the idea and work through it at this stage alone…

I seem to have been diverted quite substantially from my proposal and I can sort of bring it back or carry on somewhere else.I know I often am a compromiser which in this case may be a bad thing… falling between stools and not making anything clear..

So, I’ve been collecting stills, video and sound recordings for the next stage and getting involved in the community, making connections and so on.

I have an idea of where I need to go next but if this is a blind alley I am nervous.

It seems too big a thing to be doing at this stage really and I fear I may just produce same old same old which is not why I am doing the MA.

Am I just going to make similar work but understand it more deeply and refine it..

This isn’t what I really want I don’t think.

There is this dichotomy in me between rural and city, traditional and future…

Is this what I want to highlight.

The trouble is i enjoy the mixing in a community, becoming a transient part of it, but then there is the risk that what I produce may not be liked by the majority and some may feel upset when it is not what they expected.

I have to get over that especially in this case as there is so much personal investment by so many people in the location.

Its also very odd blogging about this.

Anyway it is 10 am now so I will have a cup of coffee and start looking back over material and ‘ analysing’ what I am actually doing….

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rhiannon evans

I'm an MA student at Camberwell College of Art studying for MA Fine Art Digital. Thanks for looking

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